MFM Mini - The Way To Be Confident

i wanna talk about confidence growing up i was never super confident i was you know in a group my group of friends let's say there were six of us you had you know the kid who always got into trouble right he was always you know he was always on an adventure and then you you had the class clown i really loved that person because they were making everybody laugh you had the person who was you know ambitious and was just they always got good grades and they were they were always sort of top of the class and doing good sports that sort of thing and and then you had me i was the friend who was like just i was just there to support all of all them i was i was just laughing i was like a laugh track of a show i wasn't even the character and i was wasn't i wasn't very confident didn't talk very much and it'll all changed for me when tenth you know tenth i was living in houston texas and in tenth grade my family my dad got a job in china and so all of a sudden we were moving to beijing and so pack of your bags you're moving from texas to china and on the plane ride there i remember my sister was talking to me and she goes you know how are feeling about your new school or excited nervous whatever i was like i don't know it's it's kinda of the same same thing probably just another school say it won't be too different and she goes well it can be i know what do you mean and she what she was trying to say was not the difference between china and texas but the difference between me in china and me in texas she goes you know none of these kids know you so you have a kind of a fresh start that's pretty cool like you can pretty much be whoever you wanna be you could be however you wanna be and i was like what what do you mean she goes well think about in houston like the kids in your school who are who are cool right i had this friend kane i mean he his name was cool my friend kane holy he he was one of the cool kids everybody loved him and he was always having a good time and i you know i i used to see these other kids remember just kept casey and you know they were always having a a good time and one of the reasons why i was it very confident they they were confident in themselves and so they were relaxed they don't weren't i was worried about what other other people were thinking of them and i thought man that'd would be great if i could be like that i didn't know how i didn't know how to be confident and over time i have learned the secret to confidence i used to think okay here's here's what i originally thought i used to think confidence was you know either something you just have or you don't you're born with it okay that that was wrong when i moved to china and when i landed you know after that flight i ended up walking into school in the first day of school and i carried myself like i came i carried myself like casey i carried myself like they used to do and i didn't know how to be confident i didn't really understand it i sort of fake it till you make it but what i figured out was that confidence is not something you do directly right so confidence is not just puff up your chest because that's bra right that's that's false confidence it's is easily deflate by by reality a confident person not just like fearless person a confident person is confident as a byproduct of being adventurous let me tell you what i mean over time i figured out that all i needed to do was focus on being adventurous putting myself in new unfamiliar situations and i'm going for it you know if there was a if we were at a lake and there was a rope swing and i didn't know how to do the rope swing i didn't know who i would land right then i must do it right i gotta lean into that adventure if if there was a group of girls at a bar i wanted to go talk to but i didn't know what to say i must go talk to them right i must lean into the adventure and what i realized you one adventure after another you sort of realized well if i keep putting myself in these positions and then i come out the other side and you know sometimes it works sometimes it's good and sometimes you belly flop doesn't work so well but either way you end up alright then fear goes away anxiety goes away confidence sets in that regardless of the situation i'll be alright i will good things can happen i have evidence that good things happen from being adventurous and therefore confidence so when i did my first business we wanted to start a sushi restaurant we had this idea to create that chipotle of sushi another problem was i have eaten sushi for the first time like two weeks before that that's why i had the idea was god my god is amazing i haven't had this since in my whole life i was scared of it why doesn't somebody make a kind of more accessible version of this so that was the idea and where most people would not have the confidence to go do it because they have no experience i leaned into the adventure so we're watching tv watching the food network the the throw with bobby fl and we see this it's a sushi throw so we skipped class and we're we're watching this this throw and we see this awesome charismatic chef from la do the sushi throw and against bobby fl he seems great he knows his stuff we say we gotta get in touch with that guy how do we how do we make that happen well my friend googled them and we saw his restaurant in la and my friend goes my friend trevor goes let's call them again normally a lot of people would shy away from that right that's a an an unknown situation what's gonna happen if i call them but what what do i say will it work well it not work lean into the adventure all alright so i i pick up the phone i call ring ring somebody picks up i'm so used to getting the run around with things that i just assumed i was gonna get the run around again i go i need to talk to philip yee how do i make that happen voice on their line goes it's philip talk to me no i didn't have much planned on what to say after that so so i you know sort of stumbled and fumble but i was like oh philip you know my name sean and i have this idea for for a sushi restaurant i think it can be really great and i just saw you on tv and i think that you're the perfect person to work with and he's like who who are you you're a kid like no not interested but we kept pursuing and we were very persistent and eventually eventually he he did come on board and became kind of like a total like a life mentor of ours but that part of the story is not important really it's just picking up the phone or calling that was important another situation i remember early on in my career we were in a a program called ky it was like a a entrepreneur entrepreneurial society like a i don't know basically they named the top hundred most innovative college startups and which is you know like forbes thirty hundred to thirty it kinda means nothing it was just people picking friends in fact i think our school had no nominees and so we just by default by being the only people to apply we won so we we get flown to new york you go to the stock exchange and you get to present we got on cnn it was amazing during that process we heard that there were there was a trip you could win if you were in the if you're were in that group there's a trip you could win like twenty or thirty people were gonna win this to china all expense paid trip to china and a courtesy of alibaba i didn't know what alibaba was at the time and we had missed the deadline to apply so we were we were not gonna win and i was sort of over well i saw somebody carrying the sign for the contest and getting to the elevator and go into the third floor so i said i said okay you know hey you know taxi follow that car basically right so let's follow her we go into the elevator i go to third i try to find this point and finder her and i go up to her and i say hey i know what i know i missed the deadline to apply but and i just made this up i go i had a dream last night that i met a woman who ran the trip and and i got tickets to the trip i don't know how it happened but i in my dream it happened and then i saw you and you had the sign that tell me that's not a sign and she laughed she's like hey that that's sign yes sure so because you know registration is closed i said i know registration closed but you know i would love to go i think you know i think i would make the trip fun for are you going if you if you're going and i'm going the trip is gonna be fun can you do it are you you have the power to make that happen don't you and yes she did she made it happen we wanted all expense paid trip china went to to the alibaba headquarters learned what the heck alibaba was i was just trying to get a free trip i thought that would be a fun venture and that ended up being extremely lucrative later because i learned about e commerce through alibaba and then now have a e commerce brand because of that i also bought alibaba stock and that did extremely well i i i only had a tiny amount of money but it did did super well so anyways you can't predict what's gonna be the the result but the lesson i wanna share is confidence to cold call somebody confidence to go up to him and say hey you know how to dream that i won make it happen for me it's not confidence it's leaning into an adventure over and or over and over again and the more adventurous you become the more bullet bulletproof you realize you are and that the byproduct of that is confident try it out today if you see an opportunity to be adventurous lean in where you would otherwise just stay on the sidelines try it one time tell me what happens tweeted at me and trust me this works if you wanna if you wanna be more confident this is the way to do it don't don't don't focus on confidence focused on adventure alright so yeah