MFM Mini - How to Turn Any Bad Experience into a Good One

some of you might have heard me tell the story before but i'm gonna do it again this is a story that my trainer told me my coach my trainer basically i hired this guy to to help me lose weight and he yeah we work out but we also you know as he likes to say we also work in meaning he it's kinda like a mental mental coach while doing physical personal training anyways he was like he came over and i said i was like what's up how's your day and he goes dude you won't believe my day i said why i said what happened and he goes so i've been on the downloads stressing about my car for like two years say what what's wrong with the car he goes nothing wrong on my car what's wrong in my car is that my license has been expired for two years and every time i drive it there's this little part of me that's like oh god i hope i don't get pulled over and have this expired license it's gonna be such a pain in the ass and the only thing worse than that is going to the dmv and actually getting a new license so i haven't done it for two years so i said okay well what happened this morning he goes i went to the dmv i said well why did you go what happened what changed he goes well i woke up this morning and i felt that same underlying stress right these like every knows what stress is like when there's like a big hairy problem or something really big looming but those aren't the real killers the real killers are the silent persistent stresses or the things you just live with day at had a day out that just eat at you they just they've they've become a part of you and he goes i kinda noticed it was there and i decided alright i'm getting rid of this today i'm not living with this alright i'm going to the dmv so he said well if i'm gonna go over the dmv i'm gonna go to the dmv on my terms what does that mean so he said he went on yelp and he looked up his local dmv and like you might guess not the best ratings so i think it was like a two two and a half star you know rating on yelp he goes okay the dmv two to two to two and a half star experience for most people i'm gonna have a five star experience i said what he goes yeah i decided i'm gonna have a five star experience with dmv i'm gonna say how how are you gonna do that i'm a be a five star customer so what do what do you mean he goes i'm gonna walk in there like i'm a five star customer and i'm gonna have a five star experiences okay so what happened he goes so i he goes i got dressed i got excited i went to the dmv like people go when they're going to a party when they're going to their best friends you know dinner party or you know they're going to the game and they're full of excitement he goes i got myself into that state of mind and then i went to the dmv and i went to the dmv and i walked in and i was greeting people and i was just i was on one and he goes sure enough i get to the dmv and i see the two star experience i see the long line of depressed people right like you know it's like that louis ck k joke that everybody in line for ci looks the same they all hate themselves you know that's what the dmv line look like and sure enough as he walks in somebody woman who's working there goes i can i help you because he's didn't look like everybody else at the the funny he was smiling he was walking around he was posture was right make an eye contact and he goes he goes yeah you might be able to help me out i've been putting off coming in for two years and i need to get my my license for renewed you know who's who's the best who's the best person in this place to help me out she goes i i can help you come here cut some cuts the line takes him on the side takes them to the counter normally two years expired you gotta take the written test again he didn't study he doesn't know we don't know nobody remembers that shit and but things have started to go his way this day so she takes him cuts the line renew his license without having to take the test again the written formal test obviously knows that a drive he's been driving twenty thirty years or whatever and he gets his gets this thing she makes a joke you know she touches his arm oh like look at that arm oh my god you're you got muscles and he starts laughing he's you know he's flirting with her she's starting with him and he tells her you know what gives her a compliment on the way out because he's being a five star customer he's being the type of customer who would have a five star experience and and and he he walks out of there fifteen minutes later licensed renewed and he had a five star experience and so he shared this with me and i'm sharing it with you because i thought this was amazing i've been to a lot of self help talks i've been to seminars rs i've read the books watching somebody or hearing somebody go to the dmv and have a great time that meant something and it reminded me of the truth the truth is that you get to choose your experience in any given situation you could be waiting in line you could be delayed you could have gotten stood up on a date you get to choose what experience you're gonna have that's a better question to ask most people ask themselves questions like shit why did this happen why is this person such a jerk why don't they get it why is everybody so annoying today blah blah blah right we ask ourselves terrible questions and then we get terrible answers better question and what experience do i wanna have right now what experience do i wanna have today do you wanna have a boring experience or a fun experience i'll take fun right do you wanna have it hard and painful you wanna have it speedy and easy i'll take speedy and easy please you get to choose the experience you're gonna have and when you choose the experience before you go into it you will start looking for evidence of that experience rather than the the the latter right if he went to the dmv looking for a two and a half star experience i guarantee he could have found it but instead he went in for a five star experience looked for people who would give him a five star experience he carried himself as a five star customer and therefore attracted a five star experience we can do that in any situation so that's a little mini superpower the ability to choose your experience and critically to not expect the world to give you that experience to put to carry yourself in that mood in that state to be a five star customer rather than a one star customer who's pissed off they're not getting five star service be a five star customer have a five star experience alright that's it that's the lesson of the day story time with sean i hope you guys liked it if you liked these little mini episodes i'll keep doing them