#56 - The Recession Proof Skill Sets

alright it's ten thirty am in san francisco i am by myself in the studio because sean wants to be with his newborn baby because he's a little nervous about the this soul corona he doesn't wanna be out walking around don't blame him and i don't feel like talking about business opportunities right now i stayed up late last night monitoring this whole corona thing the stock market it's scary it's a scary time i don't know what the reality is gonna be how it's gonna shake out but it definitely it's not a normal day and i don't wanna talk about normal stuff today because of that and so i stayed up last night and i came up with a list of four skill sets that i've developed in the last ten or fifteen years maybe longer twenty years since i started scheming since i started trying to create businesses and i wanna talk about those today because in a way they're kinda like i kinda think of them as my rock my recession proof skill sets and these things that i'm gonna about i'm gonna tell you have really changed my life and i think that if people use them they're gonna be impossible to stop i think that you're gonna be able to make a living no matter what and i'm gonna spend some time talking about these four these four things that i've learned throughout the years and i'm gonna rip a little bit on them i'm gonna tell you the resources that i think you can turn to most of all of them are free or their cheap books that you can go and acquire and read and i think it makes a huge difference and everything that i'm about to talk about i've stolen from people that are smart a lot more successful than i am that's for sure and my perspective i think is a little bit interesting in that we have this event called hustle con and i've posted about five or six of them at this point and throughout the years we've probably have had i mean we could have had forty thousand attendees throughout our events and so we do hustle con and we do all these other events and because i do these events i get to have all these really powerful and interesting people come and speak but about an i tell everyone to show a little bit early so i get to spend about an hour with them ahead of time typically privately or with just two of the other speakers like maybe the one who just spoke and the one who will speak and i'm able to ask them pretty intimate questions because that's what do i i i like to get the nitty gritty and so my insight is coming from these people and i'm talking about like folks have started these really huge companies or who whoever accomplished really interesting or amazing things if it's not just about money but they're definitely successful if that's how you wanted define success but more importantly they're successful in terms of just turning dreams into reality and that's really what i think that this whole business thing is about which is about how dreams into reality do you take ideas and how do you shape the world according to those ideas and it sounds fluffy but i'm telling you the shit is really important and so that's what i'm gonna talk about today some of these are skills some of these are mindset mindset frameworks or whatever you wanna call it and so i'm gonna talk about these four and i'm gonna i'm gonna go through them relatively quickly but i'm gonna add details and stories where i think it's effective so let's get into it i've got my notes here i'm gonna be i just jot these down in the last few hours so we're gonna go through them okay the first thing that i've learned that's been incredibly effective and these aren't in order but this might be the most effective which is controlling your emotions and this sounds like some generic advice but i'm gonna walk you through it we have a lot of companies work out of our office because we got a lot of space here and when i started my business someone let me work out of their office for free and so we try to kinda do repay that that that favor to other people just getting going and i always meet these really smart people people who worked at mckinsey with the stanford and did all amazing stuff and on paper they are perfect and they are so smart and i always tell them the same thing which is this is not an intellectual game this is an emotional game starting a business that is very successful financially intellectually it's very easy now maybe being like elon musk and starting a a a a company where you sent a rocket to mars yeah that requires a lot of in intelligence but for a lot of companies like it could be like we work or insta card these things that are or uber these things that are really large it's the very simple concepts and they're not that hard to execute but what's really hard it's controlling your emotions that's that that that's incredibly challenging what i what i've learned throughout the years through paying a lot of money for therapy and coaching and reading is that the majority of of both good and bad behavior that you have now it started back in childhood and so what i tell people and and what i've learned and when i tell myself is if you just study your childhood you're gonna learn a lot about why you are reacting to certain things i remember being a kid i i was i was only four or five years old and this is just an example of what of how things that happen when you're when you're a kid a lot of times you don't even realize it but it actually sticks sticks with you i remember when i was a kid and i was at up we're were at like a bar restaurant or something with my family and my father was drinking it must have been like a jack and coke or something i remember he ordered this glass and i saw him get the straw and take it out and i was like why are you doing that dad i was a little kid and goes and he just made some comment no big deal he was like oh men don't drink with straws and he didn't even think twice he was just joking or i don't know he just said that because he meant like he was saying like men don't use like dainty straws when they're drinking alcoholic drinks and my whole life i never used a straw until i was older when i realized oh he was first of all prop he was just he just made some off hand comedy he even think about it and second of all he was referring to alcohol and so for my whole life when when i went to mcdonald's or a fast food restaurant as a kid i would never i would always pull the straw out of the drink and that's an example of how little things happen when you're young and sometimes you notice something sometimes you don't but they entirely shape how you behave as an adult and i think it's very important to study your childhood and to study how you are raised trauma that happened when you're young because as you grow a company all those all of those things that that happened to you they become magnified so good things and bad things both ten x as you get more people and as you get a little bit more successful and the way you react to things way you the way you gauge risk the way that you react to people doing what you said or that not doing what you said the way you trust people a lot of that stems from how you are raised and things that happened to you as a kid and so what i do is i i have a therapist so i'm i've gone a therapy every week for maybe ten years and i've had to work through a lot of interesting things but i think it's quite common that people have the same issues that i have but going to therapy is incredibly important or at least it has been for me and the other thing that i've did is i have a ceo coach that has helped a ton it's pretty much like therapy but it's all related to your job but like you really talk about all types of relationships girlfriends wives boyfriends husbands father mother i mean you talk about all this stuff coworkers and so that has been incredibly helpful for me and so the things that have made a massive impact the resources that that have made an app massive impact are i use torch so torch dot io o that's my that's my coach we pay him as name's peter we pay a monthly fee and myself and adam the president of our company go to him and it's been wonderful the second thing is the body keeps the score it's a great book on that dealing with trauma now trauma a lot of times people think that means soldiers who are in war and who saw people die and their best friends and they're dealing with ptsd post traumatic stress disorder but the reality is is a lot of people can go have that so whether you your parents or your siblings or someone in your life was abusive to you as a kid or it could be you just got really scared you saw something that was pretty wild they could be when i lived in missouri when i grew up i remember being in fourth grade and seeing nine eleven and it could be it's a it could be relatively small but that made a massive difference on me and that was a small indicator or a small example of trauma and that shapes how you feel and so what the body keeps the score does is it teaches you how to recognize when you've experienced a little bit of trauma or a lot of bit of trauma and how to deal with it and so that's a great book and the second thing i like right now is how to change your mind i don't drink any alcohol i haven't had a drop of alcohol in eight years not a cent not a drop i don't do drugs i i like i'm not against drugs i'm not against weed in fact in many regards i'm in favor of it but i personally just don't do it because it's never jive well my personality that said i'm incredibly fascinated right now with psychedelics i have a lot of friends who do micro dosing lsd who do micro dosing ketamine and i'm not an expert on it yet but with how to change your mind is a great book that looks at trauma and how to deal with it and how a lot of folks are turning to psychedelics and how that can impact you and and i'm i'm very very interested in that and the third thing that i really like when it comes to controlling your emotions is this youtube channel called school of life it's this philosopher named alan i think is allan d barton i think his name is and he does a really good job of explaining why people feel a certain way and how to deal with that and i have found his youtube channel it's free to be incredibly impactful on controlling my emotions and the last thing that i do this is an exercise i thought i this was unique to me it's not so i used to do this years ago and i still do it to this day and it turns out there's a name to it it's some people call it negative a negative thought exercise i call it looking at the downside and so what i like to do in order to control my emotions because the thing about controlling your motions is you have to control the up and the down because when you start a company or when you start anything typically you have a fair bit of highs and the highs are probably as good feeling as you as you think or maybe even a little bit less than you think but the downs are typically way worse than you can imagine it's really hard to control the downs because when you start anything controlling the down is the hard part and most people are shocked at how low you can feel when you're starting something even when things appear to be going well and so what i like to do is i like to think in my mind i'll close my eyes i do this a lot a a lot of times in the morning i'll do that night as well is i close my eyes and i think what's the worst possible outcome right now and so it could be i get sick my family gets sick i'm gonna die and i visualize what what that feels like and if you do it for a long enough with your eyes closed after about five or ten minutes you can really feel what that feels like and then i do two things i this i say to myself alright that is the worst that can happened i just experienced it anything else that happens today it is only upside and it really makes you have a lot of gratitude and appreciate that that hasn't actually happened and the second thing that i like to do with this extra sizes and this relates particularly to starting a company or getting a job or moving somewhere else that's new and just starting your life is i try to protect the downside so for example if you are gonna start a company you can ask yourself well in order to start this business i need a little bit of cash and so you have to be very specific if say how much cash do i need well right now i'm spending three thousand dollars a month how much how many months saved do i need in order to get to feel good about this and so let's say we come up with the number six that means i need six times three thousand dollars i need eighteen thousand dollars in savings i'm gonna go out and get that eighteen thousand dollars okay i've got that eighteen thousand dollars what else is the worst case scenario here what's the downside here well i could spend all my money and my business goes under now do i wanna be homeless no i'm not willing to accept being homeless okay so what's the next so i have to protect myself from being homeless how would i protect myself from being homeless well i would probably get a job driving uber because i have a car do i wanna am i willing to accept that no i'm not willing to accept that or maybe you are and then that's the worst case scenario but the one stage up could be maybe well i'll just get a white collar job at a huge corporation and i'll just be a cog and their big wheel in their machine and it won't be fulfilling it won't be glamorous but it'll be a really good nine to five with benefits benefits so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna go and make friends with recruiters at those companies right now even though this isn't even coming close to hap it's not happening yet and so at least at this point if something ever bad happens i know that i have a connection at ibm or i have a connection at target headquarters or i have a connection at intuit it or just the the biggest companies in the world and the likelihood that i can get a job there is relatively high am i willing to accept that that is the worst case scenario yes i am willing to accept that and so what i do is i go up the scale of like alright what where's the lowest that i'm willing to accept now i'm gonna lock that that that in as best as i can so now anything that happens above this i am happy and it is only upside and so i'm that's what i like to do to control my emotions when it comes to taking risk the second skill that i think is incredibly important and this is maybe the number one or number two skill i think in terms of business i think it's the number one skill and so this skill is copywriting i think copywriting is the most important skill that you can have for business and one of the most important that you can have in life and here's why when you learn how to write well you learn how to think well you when you learn how to write clearly you won't learn how to think clearly those and copy writing is a particular type of writing but it's not just limited to writing copy writing is understanding how people think and how they feel and how to use the written word or a script or spoken word in order to sell a product or sell an idea basically how to use words to get people to do what you want them to do and the way that you do that is you have to understand what motivates them what makes them what what makes them work and so this can be applied to literally anything i have made tens of millions of dollars this way using copywriting but i've also met my wife this way i i learned when i was when i was trying to meet it she was that the way out of my league and so i used when i learned in copywriting to like get her attention and make her or at least try to make her interested in me copywriting copywriting incredibly effective i've used it to get customers like as in people to buy stuff from us or for the hustle to get advertisers i've used it to get speakers to our events i've used it to recruit people i've used it to sell people on this interesting idea i have copy running is incredibly important and it boils down to a bunch of really simple principle but the easiest one to remember for this conversation is ada a d a attention interest desire action for the majority of your copywriting life which is for most of you it has nothing to do with getting a job it's just a good skill set to have in life attention interest desire action is the framework that you need so when you write you line it up with attention can i get your attention interest can i tell you some facts that get you interested and get you to fall down the slippery slope because once i get you to start reading my work i can get you to keep buying into what i'm saying and it's really hard to get people to fall down that slope but interest by specifically tell them very interesting facts and features about the story that you just started with your your your action point or sorry your attention point desires is the second so i'm gonna make you desire whatever i'm i'm i'm selling and i'm gonna get you to desire that by telling you you things that you don't know and how this can benefit your life and then finally action i'm gonna tell you specifically how to get you to act and so here's an example that my friend novel always uses uses that i love which is if i'm gonna tell i'm gonna try and convince a fifteen year old guided to drink more water i could say drink more water it's healthy for you or and a lot of these facts aren't necessarily true because i didn't research what water does for you but i very easily could use those premise for that i'm gonna say have you ever seen those guides with huge muscles at the gym carrying around gallons of water in their hand it's like they use those milk containers to carry water so that's how i get your attention you see they're doing that because if you drink a if you drink a gallon of water a day the likelihood that your muscles will grow by thirty percent more than had you not drink water now the reason that happens and this is the desire part yeah this is the desired part the reason that happens is because water has these molecules in them that helps oxygen travel through your blood and oxygen is needed to build up your muscles that's my desired part is i'm i'm trying to show you how to build of your muscles and when that oxygen goes to your muscles they grow thirty percent faster so and this is the action part if you want to build big muscles and be healthier than before you need to drink about a gallon of water a day per hundred pounds of body weight so that action part i specifically explained how to do that now that was just a silly example i don't i don't know none of that shit true but you get the point this ada it works wonderfully and i always think that i always tell people you gotta learn copywriting routing and the and and there's a few great ways to learn it you can do what i did which was very labor intensive and very effective but it takes a lot of time and that's called copy work and so what i did was i got a hold of the hundred best sales letters of all time i don't know what makes the the hundred best but it's just famous sales letter so in in the fifty sixty seventies eighties and nineties before the internet really came around and it even happened after for that but predominantly before that these salesman would send these letters to people's homes and they would try to convince people to or get interested in buying a vacuum or an encyclopedia or a pair of sunglasses and the it was typically the they typically wrote to wives the the housewife wife would take out her checkbook and be like oh this is really interesting i need to buy this and she would write a check put it into the envelope and sale it back that's a lot of friction and so these people were so good at using words because it was so expensive to send of all these letters they had to be good they were so good at using their words that they had to that they convinced these strangers to write a check and mailed to them and so i found these hundred letters and if you google best sales letters of all time you're gonna find them and i would i spent probably six months where i would spent about two or three hours a day and when i was twenty two years old i would write them all out by hand i would also do that with books so the great ga me saturday night live live scripts i would do it with movie scripts just any piece of great writing i would do that with and when you do this it's kind of like how you learn an instrument the way that we teach people how to play music it's incredibly effective so if i hand you a guitar or a piano i don't say go ahead write a song i tell you copy the star span banner go play jingle bells go look at jimmy hendrix go look at led z play all this all these copy all these other people steal their work a little while and or whatever genre you're interested go and copy them exactly and in time you're gonna learn how to feel the texture you're gonna see the patterns that work best for that works extremely well with writing and it's the same concept i call it copy work this is how a lot of people used to learn our school are schooling the way that we do it now is changed over the last handful of decades but for a long time people you still do this ben franklin was a great writer and he said this is how he learned how to write and it's really effective so it's called copy work the second thing that you can do and i'm biased neville is my good friend but there's a guy named neville and i actually met him because i bought his course and i bought his course and then after i took his course i became friends with them and years later we became best friends and he's was the best man of my wedding so i love neville and so i'm biased but his course is what i took to learn about copy his has he's got this course called copy course it's spelled with a k copy with a k and course with a k i don't always it stands out it's a great course i don't know how much it cost right now it could cost a few hundred bucks or a hunter i even know but it's relatively affordable and i think if you don't like it he'll refund you as money your money but anyway a great course so it teaches a lot of this this stuff it's worth it it's totally worth it and i actually i think of i used to promote this so much that if you go to copywriting course dot com slash sam i've got like a referral link and i think there's like a fifty dollar off code or something you could use so if that interests you do that the third thing is this book called advertising secrets of the written word by joe sugar it's a great book it costs ten dollars and i bet you if you google google it correctly you can find a free pdf of it online it's a great book that walks you through copy principles and why certain things work and why they don't and finally the last thing it's not a copy thing but it's a writing thing and it's a book by stephen king called on writing and the first half of the book is it's it reads really fast it's only two hundred fifty pages maybe the first half it's all about his tools and tricks and his toolbox he calls it his tool or his toolbox for writing well and it's incredibly effective it's a he has got rules like don't use too many adverbs or keep your sentences is short things like that it's incredibly effective it's a great book on writing the second half of the book is about his biography and it's really really fascinating so it's called writing by stephen king so the second skill set that i wanted to go through copywriting i think that because i know how i would say i'm a pretty good copywriter i'm a b because i am a b copywriter until the day i die i will never be homeless i will always make money now verdict still out if i'm gonna be very very wealthy but i will bet everything which i i am betting everything by starting businesses and things like that that no matter what happens i will always be able to make a really good salary rather as an employee or selling someone else's products so i think that copywriting is incredibly effective it's it's just it's really useful for your life business and just living okay we're gonna go to the third one and the fourth one and and then that's it the third one the or the third skill set or thing that i've learned in business that pretty much shocked me i i really only learned this in last year but looking back at it people have told me this forever which is there's a massive difference a massive gap in skills and a lot of people cross it but there's the gap exists of starting and managing so when you start businesses a lot of people think of mark zuckerberg they're like this college kid started this thing he was twenty when he started it now he's only thirty or he's could be twenty five still and he manages ten thousand employees he hired and they're the the best people in the world from princeton and stanford and harvard and he's soul people from amazon the brightest minds on and you think yeah that's just how it goes well managing those people and the business it's incredibly challenging and oftentimes the people who are creative and crazy enough to start companies a lot of times the skill sets they needed to start it are not only different but oftentimes opposite of what it takes to run when you start something you could look at a lot of spreadsheets and you could kinda like guess your way there but a lot of times not all the time but a lot of times starting something it's completely irrational on paper things may or may not work and you just gotta be creative and you gotta do shit and you gotta move fast and you're not gonna have meetings you're not gonna talk to people about stuff you're just gonna move quickly and you're gonna execute and you're gonna do it and it's a very creative process it's almost like creating a piece of art like maybe there's some equation that says like the perfect rectangle looks this way but every but a lot of times there's just picasso who just says fuck this is interesting to me i'm doing this and sometimes it works that's kinda what what's starting a business but managing a business is a lot different and so at our company i did a pretty good job of getting us to about a million a month in sales but towards the end of that i was breaking i was doing horrible i was not good at managing it and i was very unhappy and so we hired one of my first hires was this guy named adam went to high school with and he's now president of our company and he runs a lot of the day to day stuff so i kinda i kinda i'm like he's like sam sandwiched in the middle whereas i'm really good at thinking of these really high level ideas madam and i'm also really good at going in at the very bottom and just being an individual contributor in and creating interesting things i'm not always great at managing the day to day of of what's going on it's i bet i could get good at it it just really doesn't interest me and that was really hard to learn and i struggled with this for years i like i said i hired a ceo coach i had we have a handful of really great angel investors and i kinda talked to them and i'm like i don't know what to do here and it wasn't until i realized that adam is one of the best at this he loves this he's the type of guy who was the captain the football team the president of student consul he loves leading people and it kinda hit me i'm like man the way that i sometimes don't understand why people are unwilling to start something or while on earth they're afraid of starting i am kinda like that on the other end with managing there's people who it whether it comes naturally to them or they've just worked on the skill set they're really good at it and so in a way i was wearing this backpack that was full of weight and i hated carrying it on my shoulders i just took out some of the weight thing and i put it in adam's bag and he loves carrying it and so through this process i mentioned earlier we have hustle khan speakers through this process i actually talked to a lot of people at our conferences and that was one of the major things that i used to ask people which is do you have a right hand man or a right hand woman do you have someone leading the day day because i'm struggling with that how do you do that and there was typically two answers which was yeah i don't like it it's really hard and i could sense that these people i'm talking i mean i don't wanna i don't wanna call anyone out but go and just google like hu speakers or something look at all the people who we've had it our events and those these are this is the type of person or those are the people who told me this which was they they would say like i am horrible at managing this or oftentimes they would have like one of their assistants or like a keeper or like a our handler like with them and i would be like hey what's this person like as a manager and if the answers were pretty consistently pretty bad this person not good and so the the first answer was i'm not good at it i'm really struggling with it and a lot of times those people would say i wish i had someone who i could replace myself as ceo i i would hear that all the time it you i was shocked by it and the second answer that i got was yeah i hired a really good coo or a really good president and this is my right hand woman a right hand man and they run a lot of the day today and it allows me to focus on what i do best and the people who sent number two are way happier and oftentimes i think a lot more successful now there are these rare occasions where the person who started is just they're they're they're also a great ceo or a great people manager that that definitely happens but often it is not the case i'm looking at a photo of ted turner ted turner one of my heroes he was pretty notoriously a bad manager he was a great leader people wanted to file him in battle but what he would do is he would come up with these great ideas so ted turner came up with the idea of cnn and he launched it but before that he had other businesses and when he came up to cnn a lot of people think ted turner you're the guy starts cnn well yeah he is but he also there was another guy named reese and reese was the guy leading the day to day ted would come came up with the idea and then he went away for three and did a sailing competition so having these right hand people are is very important and that and a lot of times i feel like i'm the right hand person at this point but i think that it's really important to understand the difference between starting and managing i mean for a long time it was normal that they would call them gray hair so it was normally get a gray haired leader to come in for a startup so these young people would come up with this idea for this great tech company and then this the investor would say alright let's go guy our ceo and that is not popular right now but i think it should be i think it's actually quite effective maybe not ceo but you definitely need this team of experienced people and and so the reason why i brought this up is it's it's a it's something that most people i found struggle with but not a lot of resources out there not a lot of people talking about it and so i think it's really important to learn this ultimately i'm the skills that comes out to del and there's four resources that i'll have that i've liked the first one i don't like the name of the book but it's very helpful it's by a guy named feel felix dennis felix dennis he was this he's dead now he died a few years ago maybe ten years ago he was he's kinda like richard branson but more vulgar he was a british entrepreneur he started dennis publishing which launched maxim magazine which launched a a ton of great titles it's still like a two hundred million dollar year business he also launched micro warehouse which basically before amazon was around it was like amazon for software and it was a huge multi billion dollar publicly traded company it's so very successful entrepreneur close to a billionaire and so this is why i don't mind his book being titled so horribly it's called how to get rich and the reason why i don't mind it is because he was really successful it wasn't this like get rich quick guy and in that book he does a great job of of talking about del and that book i use it as a reference book i read all the time about how to work with people that that's my my go to the second one is i like the one minute manager just google it you'll find it it's a great book on on managing the third thing is is the five dysfunction of a team and so it's a great book that looks at what successful teams and people look like and what they don't look like more importantly and so you order to oftentimes the best way to be good at something is you find out the bad ways of doing it and you just don't do that and the fourth thing is one of my investors is this guy named tucker max tucker max if you're a man and you're between the ages of in probably twenty eight and forty you probably know who tucker max is he was famous because he had this blog called i hope they serve beer and hell and it was very controversial it was basically about his fat days and he was just this wild part your drinker so he has a really controversial opinion but after he's he's in his forties now so he's no he no longer are kid but he's really thoughtful at this point he's kinda turned his image around and he has a great blog where he a talked about firing himself and replacing himself as ceo and he it's maybe like a twelve part blog it's really good i would highly recommend everyone reading him and he's one of my investors and he's kind of an a mentor to me you know he him and i are kinda similar in that we try to be macho and or at least we started that way wanting to be macho and show no weakness but he's actually done a really good job of being intros and talking about his feelings a lot and he's done really good about talking about managing people he tucker also has this great book on how to create a or this great document on how to manage a company or my credit culture and you could google tucker mac's culture document and you'll see it it's free okay the fourth and final skill set that i want people to take away from this rambling is how to influence people well you i'll i'll call it persuasion or influence it's very similar to similar to copywriting writing but this one's a little bit more psychological but it's similar and what most people don't realize is how to get people to do what you want them to do or how to influence them to think how you think and that sounds evil but that's not how i mean it i mean you could use it for evil ways i mean the stuff that you convince people to give you a nonprofit or you convince people of certain morals or why something's bad and something's good the same stuff that you can use to get people to do a lot of really bad things and so this is definitely a scary skill set to learn but if you but the thing is is that people are like animals i mean in the same way that if you show a dog food you know what's that pa pa experiment where you you show a dog food and you ring a bell so the dog starts associating the bell with the food and so whenever you ring the bell he starts s people are the same way you can there's all these little tricks that you can do to get people to say yes to certain things i get the buy into certain things more so for example if i'm a politician and i wanna put a huge billboard in your front yard the likelihood that i of me just knocking in your door and asking to put this big billboard in your yard in your yard the likelihood of you saying yes is pretty low but if i go in there and i say hey can i put this small little sticker on your window and you and and and the likelihood of you saying yes so that is quite high now if i go back a week later and ask you to put this big billboard in your front yard the likelihood then that you're gonna say yes is a lot higher than had i not asked you to put that small sticker because you're already bought it and there's about eight or nine principles just like this of of getting you to buy anything so another one's a rule reciprocity and so what that means is let's say that i i go out or let's say that you go out of town and you and i'm your neighbor and you ask me to check your mail for you when i'm gone and i say yeah sure no problem i'll check your mail you i've just done a favor for you now you owe me a favor and this is how humans work we all we work on favors and so now let's say next week i go hey look i watch i i i checked your mail last week can i borrow your car for a day the likelihood that you're gonna say yes is actually a lot higher because i've already done you a favor and so the interesting thing about the rule reciprocity is that people pay it back disproportionately meaning i can do a really small favor for someone and then i can ask them to do a much bigger favor and shockingly lease a lot of times they'll say yes and so there's about eight or nine of these principles that are incredibly effective for influencing people another example i've used this before i wanted to go i went bought a motorcycle for a guy for three grand or he was asking three grand four and i thought it was i thought yeah i'd be wanna pay about twenty two hundred bucks for this and so i went and bought a can of coke i bought two of them and when i showed up to the place i opened up one it's our drink go hey man eu thirsty they you you wanna coke i i i was just down the street and bought one and i thought maybe you don't want too he opened it up and he starts drinking it and i go cool motorcycle i'll give you twenty two he goes everyone's been offering to me that i'm not gonna do it but you seem like a nice guy i'll do it fine and so i don't know if the coke was the reason but that's just a an example of there's all these little tiny things that if you do them effectively they kinda add up to be pretty effective and so to learn these things there's this great book by robert cha called influence if you just google influence book you'll see it it seems robert cha read that it's it's that book changed my life and the second one which is pretty famous a lot of people know it's called how to win friends and influence people that book i i think that book is one of the best selling books of all time the best selling non fiction book of all time it was written in the nineteen thirties nineteen twenties it's still one hundred percent effective so go and read those two books and i and i think that if you learn how to influence people it's really really really effective and it will shock you now like i was a nerd in high school and i like women and so i was always just like any other kid i wanna go and meet girls i i remember reading this book as a kid i was like i wanted them to like me how do i do that and so i read this book and i would apply this stuff to to meet girls and i and i it worked i i'm married to a an amazing woman and she was way out of my league when i first met her and still was out of my league and i remember i used some of these things when i met her and it helped me kinda get my foot in the door it's so and this stuff will help you make money it will help you start a company it'll help you balance your emotions or it will help you meet your your future spouse it's incredibly effective and so i'm gonna wrap this up those are the four skills that i wanted to talk about today this whole corona thing man it's weird and didn't i didn't wanna talk about little business and schemes today but i wanted to talk about a few things that actually impact your life more than just more foundational things that can impact your life bigger than just a business and i don't know maybe maybe we'll have to call this like the the were recession proof skill set or something like that but that's it let me know how you feel about this i miss my best bud sean my c these aren't here today so tweet at me the sam par let me know what you thought about this if you actually made it all the way through maybe we'll do more of them but good luck i'll talk to you soon